...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
