I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
