69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am naked and annoyed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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