Having a random hookup so left but love u
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
