Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
