Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
