she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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