I think I died a long time ago.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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