No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
