Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
