K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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