THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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