I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
