My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
