You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
