Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
