it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i think my cat just said my name.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize