i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize