This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sex in a hospital.. check
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
