It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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