dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's just like the Real World with babies
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
