Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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