walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
