What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
