i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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