just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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