I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
