you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
