I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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