Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
