So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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