After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
