Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
