i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
