I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
