Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
