how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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