threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
