I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
