you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
