yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
