What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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