it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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