This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
