I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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