So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
