Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
