Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
