she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
