How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize