are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
