my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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