just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
