I'm drive I can fine osifer
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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