her vagine was all disorganized.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
