How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
