She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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