Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
