Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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