Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
