No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
