We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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