Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
