I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My vagina is officially offended.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
