butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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