Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
