Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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