You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
