the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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