ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
