haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
