the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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